Raleigh M. Kincaid, LMFT
One of the things that I sometimes do when I work with couples is to help them create a document that reflects the values and ideas that we have been working on and that they believe are integral to their making positive and sustainable changes in their relationship. I was looking through some of these and came to one from several years ago that I thought was especially good and that speaks well to many of the issues that I see couples face. After I read it a couple of times, I contacted the couple and asked permission to share their work on this blog. They happily agreed and here it is. See if you agree with me that the things they came up with would make a positive difference in anyone’s marriage or significant other relationship.
Honesty – Everything else flows from this. There is such safety in knowing that you are willing to be vulnerable enough to be honest.
Trust – The other half of honesty is trust. There is even more safety in knowing that you will protect me when I am brave enough to be honest.
Respect – I respect all of who you are including the parts I don’t fully understand. When we disagree, I will do so with the kindness and respect you deserve.
Friendship – There is no one’s company I enjoy more than yours. In the day to day of life, your friendship makes it all a little easier.
Romance – In all the little ways and in all the big ways, I want to show you that all I am is for you and you alone.
Sense of Humor – Our greatest gift is our joy. We have managed to laugh through the trials and tears. We know as long as we can laugh, we can love.
Communication – When you speak, I will listen. When I speak, you will listen. When it needs to be said, we will be courageous enough to say it and hear it.
These are the ideals upon which our marriage is built. We agree to work hard to achieve each one but also to be quick to forgive when we fall short.Leave a reply →